And I think part of it is not wanting to leave my childhood house, which in effect, feels a little bit like my childhood. That is, I had this completely lovely life when I lived in that house, before I got into the "real world," and so when I'm there, I get this carefree feeling like I don't have any worries in the world.
But the feeling is also about the city - a city I love - because I don't want to leave it. That is, I want us to live in St. Louis and raise our family there. And this hits me every time we're on the highway getting on I-55 to come back to Memphis.
It's a conversation that has come up between Jonathan and me. Basically, the great question of where is the best place for us to raise our family? We love Memphis. I love Memphis - nearly as much (if not equally as much) as I love St. Louis. It's a great city and we have so many great things going on in it: Jonathan's parents, good couple friends, good girlfriends (for me) and guy friends (for Jonathan), an awesome church we're really involved in, professional networks for both of us; and then the wonderful things about Memphis in general: great food, fun stuff to do, lots of cool neighborhoods to live in, a nice "small town" effect of basically knowing/knowing of everyone in the city somehow, warm climate, low cost of living, no income tax, many opportunities to get involved in the city, etc.
But then the city has negatives. All cities have negatives, of course. But some of the most noticeable related to us in Memphis are the schools (ie, public schools aren't awesome so we will most likely send our kids to private) and crime.
And so St. Louis comes up as an alternative to Memphis because it has many of the same positives, but on the flip side has awesome public schools and noticeably lower crime (in any area we would live).
But it's the schools that really get me. If cost of living is about the same, we will live a lot more comfortably in a place where we aren't spending $30k/year for private school (assuming we have two kids
Leaving Memphis would be incredibly hard, though. Maybe the hardest decision we've had to make as a couple thus far. I actually wonder if it would be such a tough decision that we would never really go through with it. And that might be the case. But I hate the idea that fear of the unknown is keeping us from what could be a really great life opportunity. So who knows. I feel pretty confident that our life will go where it's supposed to go regardless of what we think we want. So I guess we'll all (myself included) see where we end up.