I wrote some blog posts during my early pregnancy and saved them to publish after I announced it on the blog. This post (written on the day I found out I was pregnant) seems like both an appropriate and an inappropriate one to publish first. It's technically the beginning of the pregnancy, so posting it first seems correct. But it also sort of ignores our "journey" to becoming pregnant, which was not just the standard: decide you want a baby + start "trying" = get pregnant.
So know that I plan on sharing a lot more about the pre-pregnancy time, because it was difficult and involved and made us very scared that we wouldn't see a + for quite awhile. But for now...the day we found out.
Friday, June 24, 2011
This morning I took a pregnancy test...and it wasn't negative. I'm pregnant.
It doesn't feel real. Saying that word, "pregnant," and associating it with myself can't be real.
For accurate documentation, I took a pregnancy test on Tuesday and then again yesterday morning. On Tuesday, it was negative. (Note worthy: I took it in the middle of the day - "they" say you should take it in the morning when your urine is most concentrated.) When I woke up yesterday morning and my temperature was still high (this was 17 days post ovulation [at 18 high temps, 99% chance you're pregnant]), I took a cheap-o test I'd bought at the dollar store. It was the kind where you get 2 lines if you're pregnant, 1 if you aren't. Immediately the dark first line came up and I sat there looking at it totally perplexed, wondering why my temperature would still be high if I wasn't pregnant? Then, right before my eyes, a faint, faint, faint second line appeared.
Jonathan was out walking the dog, so I got back into bed and waited for him to come home (meanwhile google searching "faint 2nd line on pregnancy test"). When he got home, I called him into the room and showed him the test. He kept saying, "what does this mean? what does this mean?" and I was like, "two lines! two lines!" But we still weren't 100% convinced. It just seemed so unlikely that I'd be pregnant, that we thought the 2nd line was too faint to make a call.
So I called my doctor, got an appointment for Monday, and headed to the local Walgreens to buy a digital test.
Today was my day to walk the dog in the morning, so I woke up early and took the digital test. After about a minute of the taunting hourglass symbol, the word "pregnant" appeared. Holy crap! My hands were shaking as I walked back to wake up Jonathan and show him. We hugged and cried a little and mainly talked about how shocked we were that it actually happened! It's only been 4 months since the official PCOS diagnosis, it's only our second cycle of actually trying, and here we are!
Part of me still doesn't believe it. But then part of me feels so happy, blessed, grateful, scared, and excited! (It feels really scary, actually. Like, these next few weeks will be pivotal to the pregnancy - I'm scared. Just given how bizarrely my body has been acting, I'm scared it will freak out and not handle a pregnancy. I pray it doesn't.)
So yeah - holy crap! But YIPPEE!!!