Thursday, August 19, 2010


My morning routine at work has become pretty ingrained, and for the most part, unless I'm super super busy, it's the same everyday.  It goes like this:

8am: arrive
9am: eat breakfast
10am: drink one (only) big cup of coffee
~noon: eat snack
1pm: eat lunch

Everything is timed perfectly for my body.  That is, I don't drink coffee before eating because that gives me a stomachache.  I don't eat before nine because that also (sometimes) gives me a stomachache.  I eat a small snack before lunch or else the caffeine in the coffee makes me jittery.

And for the most part, it works perfectly.  Like clockwork.

Well, yesterday was a different story.  Everything took place on time, but at about 11:30, I started to get major coffee jitters.  I had no idea why; and frankly, it was a little annoying because I hate taking my lunch earlier than 1 (it's just a personal choice - but when I take it earlier, I feel like the afternoon just draaaaaags on).  But whatev.  Not a huge deal.

Well this morning, I happened to go into the breakroom to get my coffee when the cleaning lady was in there.  As I reached for the pot, she said, "I'd be careful with that.  The man who works in the office right there [pointing down the hall] used TWO bags of coffee when making it."  Say what?

Ok, guys, we brew Starbucks coffee in our office.  As you all know, I'm sure, that stuff is strong!  Even a huge cup from a pot made with the correct amount can blast you off straight to the moon.  But two?  That's absurd.

So I marched down to his office.  (He might or might not be the most annoying man on Earth one of the co-workers I hate don't necessarily get along with as well as I do with others.)

Me: Hey, I was just in the breakroom and the cleaning lady said she saw you brew with 2 bags of Starbucks?  Is that true?
Him:  I didn't brew with two.
Me: Really?  Because that's what she said.  I mean, it's not a huge deal, but you might want to stick a post-it on that pot or something, since for some people [all people, you JA!] two bags might make it a little strong.
Him: Well, I don't brew with two bags.
Me: Ok, then...  I guess just be forewarned, then, that if you get a cup of coffee right now, it's really strong.
[I start to walk out]
Him: I brew with one and a half bags.  But never two.  You know, I like my coffee strong.  But two bags, that'd be way too many.  But yeah, I brew with one and a half.

He then launched into this long stuuuuuupid story about a time he drank too much Cuban coffee when he was meeting with a company in Miami.  But then reiterated at the end, "so, you see, I might brew with one and a half Starbucks bags, but they're nowhere near as strong as that Cuban coffee."

Oh, well in that case.

So yeah, I'm about to blast off again today, even though I cut about half my cup with hot water and milk, and while I was drinking my cup, made sure to drink plenty of water with it.  Friggin jerk.


Sarah said...

Haha. So annoying. Great job describing this man, I can definitely picture him. I have similar caffeine problems so I would also be upset if someone brewed with 1.5 bags.

LB said...

Is this man either balding or wearing thick-rimmed glasses? Because that's how I picture him.