9am: eat breakfast
10am: drink one (only) big cup of coffee
~noon: eat snack
1pm: eat lunch
Everything is timed perfectly for my body. That is, I don't drink coffee before eating because that gives me a stomachache. I don't eat before nine because that also (sometimes) gives me a stomachache. I eat a small snack before lunch or else the caffeine in the coffee makes me jittery.
And for the most part, it works perfectly. Like clockwork.
Well, yesterday was a different story. Everything took place on time, but at about 11:30, I started to get major coffee jitters. I had no idea why; and frankly, it was a little annoying because I hate taking my lunch earlier than 1 (it's just a personal choice - but when I take it earlier, I feel like the afternoon just draaaaaags on). But whatev. Not a huge deal.
Well this morning, I happened to go into the breakroom to get my coffee when the cleaning lady was in there. As I reached for the pot, she said, "I'd be careful with that. The man who works in the office right there [pointing down the hall] used TWO bags of coffee when making it." Say what?
Ok, guys, we brew Starbucks coffee in our office. As you all know, I'm sure, that stuff is strong! Even a huge cup from a pot made with the correct amount can blast you off straight to the moon. But two? That's absurd.
So I marched down to his office. (He might or might not be
Me: Hey, I was just in the breakroom and the cleaning lady said she saw you brew with 2 bags of Starbucks? Is that true?
Him: Well...no. I didn't brew with two.
Me: Really? Because that's what she said. I mean, it's not a huge deal, but you might want to stick a post-it on that pot or something, since for some people [all people, you JA!] two bags might make it a little strong.
Him: Well, I don't brew with two bags.
Me: Ok, then... I guess just be forewarned, then, that if you get a cup of coffee right now, it's really strong.
[I start to walk out]
Him: I brew with one and a half bags. But never two. You know, I like my coffee strong. But two bags, that'd be way too many. But yeah, I brew with one and a half.
He then launched into this long
Oh, well in that case.
So yeah, I'm about to blast off again today, even though I cut about half my cup with hot water and milk, and while I was drinking my cup, made sure to drink plenty of water with it. Friggin jerk.