Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Reassuring Night

Last night I hosted Bible study at my house, and I just have to say, I love having that group of women in my life.  Just about everyone is in their late 20s/early 30s, and while some of us are friends outside the group, it's a very welcoming and warm environment no matter who attends. (Which is another sort of cool aspect of it: its very "come when you can," so there isn't a ton of pressure to reschedule your life around it - if you miss one, just come to the next.)

But there's something about having a distinct group for "Bible study" and "fellowship" that fulfills a need different than that of just having a good, meaningful chat with a close girlfriend.  And perhaps it's having our leader who sort of facilitates meaningful conversation (since we usually spend 1/3 of the time chit-chatting, and 2/3 doing the actual Bible study).  But it's nice.  It's nice to be in a comfortable environment where you can express anxiety/joy/sadness/happiness and know you'll be supported and prayed for.

Last night really turned on a light switch for me as I realized that late 20s/early 30s is sort of a tough time in life for most women (and maybe men too?  Don't know - we're ladies only).  "Tough" isn't quite the right word, though.  Eventful?  Up in the air?  Unknowing?

It's a time when marriage is on the brain.  If you aren't married, you're thinking about if you will be someday - and you're dating around (or not dating, which presents its own slew of anxiety).  If you're married, you're thinking about kids (again - I'm saying the whole age group late 20s/early 30s).  If you have kids, you're sort of redefining your life as a mother and figuring out how that plays into your own personal life/aspirations.  You're maybe finishing grad school and trying to assess where you'll go after that.  If you've been in a job for awhile (5+ years, I'd say), you're starting to wonder if it's a job/company you'd like for another 5, or if you should switch fields/companies while you can (when you're still "young").  Or if you should go to grad school.

I was expressing some personal anxieties last night, and while I wasn't sure exactly how they'd be received, or if others could relate, I was relieved when everyone chimed in with their own personal anxieties.  And all of ours are somewhat different, but also somewhat related.  Each one seems to ask this great overarching question: where am I going from here?

The women left my house and I felt a calm about things that I haven't in awhile.  And it's not that I don't feel comforted when I talk to one of my close friends.  But I think I was reassured to know it's not just me and my few best friends who are having some life questions, it's this whole group of very diverse women who are only brought together by church and age group.

Do you guys agree about this age being in limbo to a certain extent?  Do you feel anxious about what the next decade has in store?


Amy said...

I really like (and relate) to this post. To answer your questions: 1) mmmyeah, definitely in limbo 2) yes, anxious (but also eager) to see what the next decade has in store. ;)

b|rad said...

Interestingly enough, I'm not anxious about what's in store. Maybe it's because I feel like I *just* started a new chapter in my life? I guess 2 months ago, I was definitely plagued by WHAT AM I DOING? WHERE AM I GOING? not only professionally but personally. Still working on the personal part but professionally, I'm feeling alright...