1) Posting something "witty" every couple hours. Not ok. Use Twitter for such frequency.
2) Starting every single post with "Dear _____" and then saying something witty to the proverbial person. Boooor-innnnng. A Dear Whomever post is funny every now & then - no more than that.
3) Trying to get attention by:
a) Posting something intriguing/mysterious/ambiguous, but not explaining
b) Posting about an illness or injury (unless the illness/injury was acquired in a unique way or the illness/injury is actually quite serious and/or life-threatening)
c) Writing something specifically to "you" (ie, "why do you constantly make my heart burn with desire?")
4) Posting vehemently about politics. Keep it light, folks.
5) Writing really long status updates - again, there's got to be another online outlet for that (a blog, maybe?).
6) Writing back & forth with your spouse (I'd say "significant other" - but I guess I could maybe see how a young relationship would possibly do this to flirt?) - but if you guys have been seeing each other more than a year (or are married to each other), just talk about it at home or via text/email.
7) Using pet names in reference to your significant other (ie, "my baby is so sweet, he got me flowers!!!!" or "good luck at work today, babe, I love you!").
8) Going through all your birthdays and sending birthday wishes at the same time - especially when you say the same thing & it's a little quirky. I signed on today and saw five in a row from the same guy, seconds apart from each other, "Happy Birthday _______, good job being born."
9) The same guy from #8 (the "good job being born" guy) didn't send me birthday wishes on my birthday. He sends them to everyone. We were the same year in school. Our parents houses have been next door to each other since 1991! He still lives in that house with his parents, next door to mine. He parks in my mom's garage! Like, he has a garage opener & that's his permanent parking place!
10) Farmville, Family Feud, Mafia Wars, Sorority Life, etc.
11) Posting the same thing twice on different accounts. So, if you have a personal page AND a work page, posting the same thing on both, so both are right on top of each other in the news feed.
12) Taking dumb quizzes & asking others to take them too. What color/animal/number/season/douche/tree are you?
13) Saying "goodnight" every night.
And can I just say a small grievance I have with the Facebook app for iPhone:
If you're looking through your list of friends and click one millimeter too far to the right on a person who has their phone number listed, it CALLS THEM! There's no pop up asking "do you want to place this call" (as there is in the google app) - it just does it - goes straight to the phone! I don't know about you, but I can think of a good handful of people I don't want to accidentally call.
Did I miss any more unacceptable Facebook behavior?? Happy weekend!